Work where God is working - 7.16.19
A few weeks ago, my beautiful friend, Debbie Bond, tagged me in a post about "Around the World" that was going on at Refuge Church Opp Campus from July 16-18. As soon as I saw the post, I knew I was suppose to stay for it but I had already bought plane tickets to fly back for July 16th for me and all 4 kids but when God tells you stay, you listen. This morning the kids and I started decorating the fellowship hall with some of my Africa dresses, my "child carrying clothe" from Africa, and some colored pictures of kids from Around the World. I planned on coming back home and taking showers before going back to church so I didn't pack anything. However, the day flew by and before I knew it, it was 5:45 and VBS started at 6. What to do, what to do. *Godwink* I had baby wipes, I had an African dress, bingo problem solved. I put on my African dress and to my surprise my flip flops and hair tie matched the dress *girl moment*. I walk inside the church and everybody else was dressed up too, so my unplanned last minute dress fit in perfectly. During the opening, the youth pastor walked up and asked me if I wanted to take the class for youth.
*Now pause*
About 2 months ago I started really dealing with the death of my brother. I opened the gaping wound back up and started allowing it to heal from the inside out. You can't move to the next level of ministry if you still have wounds from your past. Your past isn't your past if you haven't moved forward. Your past is your present and future until you heal. I recently realized this and have experienced so many emotions from anger, to bursting out crying, to depression and even to rebellion. I felt all the pain from 15 years ago, and my mind wanted to escape like I did 15 years ago. But God has changed me and I won't go back to that life. The devil tempted me for 2 weeks but then one day I said No, I have came to far to go back to that hopeless place, and then the tempation was gone. God is good! I still have pain but I am healing through this pain. I got answers about Clen's death that I have needed and it allowed for me to slowly move forward. The circumstances of his death are hard, but I prayed and told God if He wanted me to share about his death, I would but it hurts so it would have to be very clear when I did share.
*Back to present*
So I'm standing in front of the youth, dressed in Africa attire and no Bible. (My Bible has been at the repair shop for 2 weeks now). Totally awesome! :) When we aren't prepared is when we can be led by the Holy Spirit and we have to remember who He is in US. I began sharing my testimony about my life and how God called me to missions. I talked about water and oil don't mix and you can't have Jesus and the world. I talked about prayer being as simple as speaking to a person. I talked about how what you put in your mind, is what you will become, so put Jesus in and not the world. I talked about circumstances and situations hurting us and we can choose rebellion and the world or we can let God heal us from the inside out. When I was done, one boy looked at me and said "How did your brother die?" *Ok Jesus, help me*. So I told them, I told these youth about my brother being my best friend, and always having my back. I told them that one simple thing destroyed not only his life, but almost mine and devastated my family. I shared about the very thing I had told God I would share a few weeks ago if he wanted me to. And I felt the wound begin to heal from the inside.
I told the kids I wasn't suppose to be there, I was suppose to be flying back "home". I told them I wasn't suppose to be speaking but I was there. I told them God knew who would be there and who needed to hear what I was saying to them. Only God can heal your pain, Only God can make you whole. And the whole time, I am healing my own pain by speaking about it.
The Bible says "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death." Revelations 12:11.
The devil tried to use Clen's death to destroy me. He tried to use the unbearable pain to make me turn towards his ways. He didn't know that Clen's death would propel me to being in his car one night asking God to take my life because I couldn't go on, and God telling me to go to nursing school. The devil didn't know I would go to nursing school only to be led to Africa. And the devil didn't know that when I got to the broken part that I would fully surrender to God and change my life once and for all. I've made bad decisions and mistakes but praise God, He forgave me and I am free from the bondage of sin. I sin daily, but God is faithful and forgives me when I ask for his forgiveness. Life can suck the breath out of you, but Praise God, I know the one that gave me life and breathed into my lungs and woke me up to always share about Him. Anytime, Anywhere, I will always share about God's goodness. God will led you to the ones that need to hear about His goodness and His mercy, and all we have to do is tell them about Him, and He will do the rest.
Praise God for an amazing opportunity tonight!
"Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine." 2 Timothy 4:2
*Now pause*
About 2 months ago I started really dealing with the death of my brother. I opened the gaping wound back up and started allowing it to heal from the inside out. You can't move to the next level of ministry if you still have wounds from your past. Your past isn't your past if you haven't moved forward. Your past is your present and future until you heal. I recently realized this and have experienced so many emotions from anger, to bursting out crying, to depression and even to rebellion. I felt all the pain from 15 years ago, and my mind wanted to escape like I did 15 years ago. But God has changed me and I won't go back to that life. The devil tempted me for 2 weeks but then one day I said No, I have came to far to go back to that hopeless place, and then the tempation was gone. God is good! I still have pain but I am healing through this pain. I got answers about Clen's death that I have needed and it allowed for me to slowly move forward. The circumstances of his death are hard, but I prayed and told God if He wanted me to share about his death, I would but it hurts so it would have to be very clear when I did share.
*Back to present*
So I'm standing in front of the youth, dressed in Africa attire and no Bible. (My Bible has been at the repair shop for 2 weeks now). Totally awesome! :) When we aren't prepared is when we can be led by the Holy Spirit and we have to remember who He is in US. I began sharing my testimony about my life and how God called me to missions. I talked about water and oil don't mix and you can't have Jesus and the world. I talked about prayer being as simple as speaking to a person. I talked about how what you put in your mind, is what you will become, so put Jesus in and not the world. I talked about circumstances and situations hurting us and we can choose rebellion and the world or we can let God heal us from the inside out. When I was done, one boy looked at me and said "How did your brother die?" *Ok Jesus, help me*. So I told them, I told these youth about my brother being my best friend, and always having my back. I told them that one simple thing destroyed not only his life, but almost mine and devastated my family. I shared about the very thing I had told God I would share a few weeks ago if he wanted me to. And I felt the wound begin to heal from the inside.
I told the kids I wasn't suppose to be there, I was suppose to be flying back "home". I told them I wasn't suppose to be speaking but I was there. I told them God knew who would be there and who needed to hear what I was saying to them. Only God can heal your pain, Only God can make you whole. And the whole time, I am healing my own pain by speaking about it.
The Bible says "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death." Revelations 12:11.
The devil tried to use Clen's death to destroy me. He tried to use the unbearable pain to make me turn towards his ways. He didn't know that Clen's death would propel me to being in his car one night asking God to take my life because I couldn't go on, and God telling me to go to nursing school. The devil didn't know I would go to nursing school only to be led to Africa. And the devil didn't know that when I got to the broken part that I would fully surrender to God and change my life once and for all. I've made bad decisions and mistakes but praise God, He forgave me and I am free from the bondage of sin. I sin daily, but God is faithful and forgives me when I ask for his forgiveness. Life can suck the breath out of you, but Praise God, I know the one that gave me life and breathed into my lungs and woke me up to always share about Him. Anytime, Anywhere, I will always share about God's goodness. God will led you to the ones that need to hear about His goodness and His mercy, and all we have to do is tell them about Him, and He will do the rest.
Praise God for an amazing opportunity tonight!
"Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine." 2 Timothy 4:2
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