The Story God Wrote For Me

So I'm kind of at an odd place in my life. The place between wow looked at God has done for me the past 6 months (as of tomorrow) and kind of this scared and anxious feeling about leaving in 3 months. Why? Because I'm scared when I go back to the States I will lose sight of all that I have learned, that I will get a full time job, pay off my bills, and be back in the "American Dream". I don't want the "American Dream" I want to be a missionary for the rest of my life and share the gospel to this lost and dying world. This last month has opened my eyes to a new step of my Christian walk. The trials got harder but the reward was awesome. During the middle of my sickness last month, I finally just wept before my Jesus, my trust, my hope, my deliver, my fortress, my rock and cried out with everything inside of me to show me what to do. I prayed for strength to continue doing HIS will for my life. The next day I felt a joy and peace deep down in my Spirit and

  So like every night I’m lying in bed, thinking of what I’ve learned today and staring at the ceiling fan. But for some reason last night a thought popped in my head while staring at the ceiling fan. My life is like a ceiling fan – sometimes I turn on, sometimes I turn off, sometimes I go fast, sometimes I go slow, and sometimes I wobble back and forth. But just like the ceiling fan I’m connect to something solid and non-moving. Jesus – he keeps me from spinning out of control and crashing to the ground. The rod from the ceiling is like the Holy Spirit that keeps me in line and keeps me grounded to the rock of my Salvation. I love it when random earthly things show me more meaning in the spiritual sense. God is awesome J So right now my husband is on his way to ATL to the airport. It is an extremely exciting moment for me because I get to see him for the first time in 6 months! I can't believe its been that long already. I started school back today and did a half day. It went well

November 23, 2010 The girl scowled and looked around the room. She didn’t know why she was here it wasn’t her fault. This was just stupid and a waste of time. Some people just think they can blame something on her and think they have power over her…pathetic people. She looked up at the man next to her – her lawyer...ha ha ha…he didn’t do anything and sure wasn’t helping her at all. He just seemed to make matters worse. She looked across the room at the prosecutor. He just glared at her and then had the nerve to wave at her. Looking behind her, she saw her family crying and staring back at her with pleading wounded eyes. Pathetic she thought. They don’t understand me and just judge me. I have to take care of myself this isn’t my fault. She couldn’t trust anybody but herself and her friends that were there for her. A small voice inside her head said, “Where are they now?” …she huffed what a stupid thought - they were waiting for her to get back to the house that is why they weren’t he

November 22, 2010 I am going to be ok. I just know it. This is just a trial and I am going to get through it by the grace of God. He is my Savior, my healer, my salvation, my Redeemer, my Abba Father, my Jehovah- Jireh, my strength, he is my GOD! I keep remembering the old wizard on Lord of the Rings when he is clothed in white and has his rod and he says to the fiery dragon, “You shall not pass”. I feel like this, I am fighting the forces of darkness right now. This is not just a disease this is spiritual warfare. The devil does not want me to be in Niger he has repeatedly shown that in my dreams, and sickness. He has tried to make me go for my fleshy wants and needs (go and run home). How do I know this? I prayed God would show me the way to go and allow me to hear his voice. I had a dream. In this dream - I am surrounded by men, who are dressed in black from head to toe. They are all wearing sunglasses. They are all possessed by the devil. I am alone in the midst of them and tryi

My life is at a crossroads. The past week I have had to shift through many different emotions. Last Monday after being sick for 4 days, I went to the lab and had two vials of blood drawn to check for malaria and a CBC performed. Everything came back normal but I have the same symptoms of Malaria that I had the first two times. After speaking with my supervisors, my doctor, and another doctor, we can to the conclusion that it was possible that I had the malaria that hides out in my liver. I also found out that I could take primiquine to treat this but that is was not available here in Niger. It was very frustrating to know that a $20.00 drug could be found in the US where no malaria is located rarely but not found in a place where malaria kills people every day. Crazy, yes? Anyways I spoke and prayed to my husband and he had churches in Andalusia pray that God would show me away to go. I went Friday and had three more vials of blood taken and test performed for liver enzymes and a G6-PD

Today has been a hard day. I've been sick again since last Wednesday. It has been a very discouraging time for me because I've been sick with malaria since August off and on. I am beginning to think I have the malaria that hides in my liver and this is why I can't get better. My supervisor Cindy had this type of malaria and she is now in the States getting treatment for it. The only thing if I do have this type of malaria - Niger doesn't have the treatment it. I would have to go back to the States, get liver lab work done, and monitored and be on treatment there for about 2-3 weeks. Yeahhh.......so right now I'm at a place in my life where I'm asking for prayer and for God to reveal what I need to do. I have two options: I have to let go of my pride and admit that God may be getting ready to send me back to the States. Second,  This may be another trial and I need to trust God and wait it out. Pray God's will for my life and not my own!

*Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. Caw Caw Caw”. The sound of the sea gulls and the ocean spray was the only sound the little boy could here. He was so excited he was at the beach. The feel of the sun on his back and the temperature of the water felt amazing. He wouldn’t trade this day for anything in the world. His family had come down to Gulf Shores for one last trip before he had to go back to school. “Jake!” he looked up to see his father calling him back to shore. His father was sitting down on the sand and beside him; there was a big bag of stuff. Jake prided himself on how fast he made it back to shore and how good a swimmer he had become in just the last few years. His father smiled up at him and opened his bag. “Jake, I’ve gotten some stuff to make a sand castle with; I think everybody should have to make one at least once in their life”. Jake looked up with excitement, this was great! He was spending an awesome afternoon with his father. “Jake, you always have to start with a bottom. G

A little girl looked excitedly out her window. Her father was coming home from work and after that, they were going away for the weekend. She didn’t know where they were going but she knew that it would be amazing because they would be together. Her father had told her only one thing and that was to be packed, and be ready when he got home. She still hadn’t packed yet but there was still time. Besides, if she didn’t finish in time he would wait for her, right? Sure, she thought and she kept planning their long weekend. While pondering her thoughts - of what her and her father would do - she failed to hear the sound of his car pulling into the garage and the sound of the back door opening as he walked in. He quietly walked up behind her and placed his hand on her shoulder. Gasping she turned around, shocked that she had been so absorbed into her own thoughts that she failed to realize when her father had gotten home. “DADDY” she cried as she ran and jumped into his arms. Her father gave

The hunter sat waiting in his tree stand for almost 3 hours before the reason for his timing showed itself. A buck not far away stepped from the deeper part of the woods. This was not like other deer, it was magnificent, had 12 point rack, and its size wasn’t expected in this part of the woods, much less the state! Nevertheless, as the hunter looked he couldn’t deny the size of the deer or the fact that it was indeed here. The hunter knew that this size of deer would serve the purpose; the people would be saved from this size of sacrifice. Looking through his scope, he waited for the buck to get within his range. Timing was everything. The deer suddenly stopped, started sniffing the air and then looked right at the hunter. The hunter knew the deer couldn’t see him because of his camouflage but still he knew the deer sensed his presence. The magnificent buck slowly begins walking again despite the hunter… one step, then two steps and then that’s it. The hunter slowly released the safety

Thoughts of a weak person who is made strong by JESUS CHRIST So this morning I woke up homesick and missing my family like crazy. I keep telling myself that it is almost November and then it will be December and then my love will be here with me for a season then I will be home shortly after that. I remember God is my strength and that is how I get up out of bed each day and go through the day. If it wasn’t for GOD I couldn’t do this on my own. Anyways today, I had two people tell me I needed to be with my husband. One went so far as to tell me that God told her. Then said maybe I should leave and save the money God had raised for me until Michael could come back with me. That God was giving me a sign with the malaria and then went on to say that, the Zerma team may not be what God wants and that he was stopping it (which I don’t believe). She also said that people blame the devil but God does things too. And that I didn’t need to do what I wanted to do but what God wanted me to do.

I never know when I will write the next blog, I never know if I will write another one again, and just when I begin to think I won’t write one again then Jesus begins showing and revealing things that make me want to bust with excitement at HIS divine glory, mercy and power….and only then do I write. I woke up with the expectation of sadness this morning but it was not there. I dreamt about my brother last night. I could not save him in this dream either and he died. However, this dream was different from the rest I have had since he died 6 years ago. He did not call out to me for help, he did not scream for me to save him, and he did not need saving until he was gone. It was a different dream, with different emotions in it and I ponder that. What was the meaning of this dream….was it a way for the devil to make me sad and feel that cold sharp pain again? Probably but Jesus works through the good and the bad times in our lives. How do I know this? Because this morning when I woke up

Faith is mentioned 234 times in the Bible according to my Bible software program. We have all been told what Faith is and what is should be but that’s not what I’m asking. I’m asking for a personal account of what your faith is to you. Each person has their own faith and nobody can take that faith away not even the devil. So what is YOUR faith? My faith has grown more the past 3 years than in my whole life. Faith is not just a spiritual word anymore to me. Faith is something that is as real to me as my family. Faith is what I long to deepen. I long to have the faith of a mustard seed because with this small amount of faith I can see mountains moved. Hebrew 11:1 says “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Faith is doing what God tells you to do without seeing the path or seeing any means to get there. When God spoke to me and told me I was going to be going to Niger, Africa for 9 months and leaving on June 17, 2010 I didn’t have the money

Happy Birthday to my Daddy! I love you and hope you have a blessed day! Sunday morning, I woke up with the homesick feeling. It comes and goes but it has been awhile since I’ve had it. I just prayed to God and realized I had to keep my eyes on Jesus and reminded myself what my purpose is here in Niger. The feelings passed and I started getting ready for church at Hosanna. During the worship service I was standing up and noticed some movement on my right side. Three children were standing to the right of me (two of them were around 7-8 yrs old and the other one less than 2 yrs). I shook hands with all of them and then reached down to the little girl to see if she would let me hold her. She did and when I picked her up - she just hugged me. It was precious and amazing. I held her during the song service. When it was time to go to Children’s church and I tried to give her to her sister she just hung onto me so she ended up staying with me. She fell asleep hugging me and slept in my lap

This past week I’ve been amazingly blessed. The only thing that comes to my mind is the childhood song I use to sing “Trust and obey for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey”. God’s timing is flawless and perfect. I watched Facing the Giants for the very first time recently. I know this movie is a few years old but I believe it was the perfect time in my life for me to watch this movie while here in Niger. It was encouraging. The movie theme was total surrender to God. Once both people totally surrendered to Jesus Christ then look at all the miracles that God performed. God can work miracles when we submit to HIS will. Another movie that I can’t get out of my head is Faith like Potatoes (go ahead and laugh Julie and Holli) this movie encouraged me and made me realize how important it is to press through and have faith when everyone else doubts what will happen or doubts you. Am I crazy to think that God planned for me to watch both of these movies in the tim