01/09/2020 - The Awning

My morning lesson: I woke up to a huge bang on the roof. I jumped up to find, the wind had broke the left leg of awning off the camper, and the right side of awning flew up off the brace, and the awning and leg was slamming into the roof of the camper. Knowing that any minute, the wind would die down and the arm might possibly come through my window, I had a choice, go full on supermom or go ask for help. I dont have a ladder, how could I reach the roof? Nope, something inside me pushes me to just do stuff myself. So I push my zero gravity chair, stood on it carefully, watched the awning flap, and just like when I played basketball as soon as I saw a chance, I leaped up and grabbed the awning arm. Great right? Nope cause after a lull there is a rise and here went my body hanging up in the air and not coming down. Hrmmm this is an interesting change. So I hung on until the wind died down, and then once I could touch the ground I hulked(it probably looked more like hannah montana moment) up and pulled with all my might and pulled the awning arms and awning down to the ground. Bigger problem now, how do i get the arms together? Because I couldnt hold up the awning bar, arms and awning and the other part of arms at same time but I was going to try. So I tried three times but couldnt get it. Thats ok, I have my squad inside, I will just call one of them to help me. I stretched my leg out, held up parts and with my arm knocked on side loudly. No answer. So I did it again, no answer. What is wrong with them. I listen and hear and discover the evil, and malicious electronic device of baby shark has held my four squad members captive and they are oblivious to my current superhero potential status. Baby shark =1, mom =0. Anyways luckily by this point, some men saw me and came and helped me get the awning bar back in and the awning closed. My shoulders feel like I had the whole world on my back, oh wait maybe I thought I did until this moment.

Spiritually: Are you trying to save or fix something on your own, because your pride drives you? Do you take over instead of delegating? A good leader trains so everything can run without them. A good dictator trains so nothing runs without them. As parents we want the best for our kids but we also want them to be able to function on their own one day. There is a line between love and control. Controllers live in fear. Fear of being alone, fear of not being loved, fear of rejection, or have allowed others past failures to propel them into the destructive cycle of bitterness and hurt. Controllers eventually push everyone away and still think they can control their lives. Nobody can be perfect stop making others around you feel like failures with your unrealistic perfectionist goals.

God's love is perfect. Love covers a multitude of sins, it doesnt control but gives freedom to learn. Love forgives. Love encourages, substains and is constant. Love encapsulates your life, controlling incapacitates your life. Stop striving for perfection because you have idolized yourself above God. If you think you are perfect, you dont think you need any help from Jesus, who died because you couldnt be perfect and you couldnt save yourself from your own sins. Repent of your pride and turn to Christ. Walk in his sacrifice and love and not your own idol.